So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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