The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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