He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
