If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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