I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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