Can i not drive my cunt home
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Quick, to the slutcave!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize