Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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