yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
