so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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