btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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