I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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