I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
