Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
