I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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