after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
