its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
