Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
