Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
