Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
