I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think my tv is drunk
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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