The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
