There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's Friday. Sex?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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