i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my poor anus
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
