Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
