It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
