Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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