Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
