Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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