Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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