i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and she was petting her beer can
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
