fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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