I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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