Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
