he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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