yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
