is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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