About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
