i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
