I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
