Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
