that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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