and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
