2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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