I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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