I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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