my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize