and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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