One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
