Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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