My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
