porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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