My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
