So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
