Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just invented taco cereal.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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