Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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