i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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