Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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