Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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