When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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