Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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