4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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