Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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