I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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