Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
