no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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