listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
